


Secret Sauce

by what_a_dork_fish



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Fast Food, Gen, Originally Posted on Tumblr, The Most Vile Thing, WARNING: THIS IS FUCKING GROSS, you can all blame firthermore for this piece of trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-04-11
Packaged: 2018-10-17 17:26:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10598697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/what_a_dork_fish/pseuds/what_a_dork_fish
Summary: The stupidest (and grossest) thing I have ever written. Eggsy works at a fastfood restaurant. Charlie is a bad customer.Edit: I'm not fucking kidding this thing is v i l e





	

**Author's Note:**

> I........ I am so sorry.

“Oh my god, bruv!”

“They deserve it,” Eggsy replied, shaking the bottle he’d brought with him to get it all nice and mixed. His friends watched in horror as he put a lovely dollop on each burger, slapped the lettuce on, and closed the bun.

“Manager is gonna _kill_ you,” Jamal said weakly.

“Rox won’t care.” Roxy had been the one to mutter angrily about hoping someone gave them “special sauce” three weeks ago. She probably hadn’t meant it. But Eggsy certainly did.

Charlie and his gang were the scourge of nightshift, and everyone hated them. Once or twice Eggsy’s boyfriend Harry had come in and, ah, _removed_ them from the premises for being especially horrible. They insulted the staff, they complained about their food, they badgered until they got free stuff, and they upset the other customers. It’d gotten so bad that no one came in on Saturday evenings unless they were drunk or high.

Eggsy wanted them to leave. So he was going to make them.

“Order for Charlie,” he intoned, walking up to the counter with the three meals on the tray.

“Thank christ, took you long enough,” Charlie sneered, swiping the up the tray. For some reason he rarely called Eggsy names or even tried to belittle him. Maybe because of that time Eggsy threw a hot pie in his face.

Eggsy loitered up front, and, slowly, all the cooks joined him. Roxy was cashier because they were short one, and she eyed her employees uneasily.

“What did you do?” she hissed to Eggsy.

He just smiled.

Suddenly Digby choked, dropped his burger, and ran for the loo. Hugo stared at his own burger for a moment, then made a strange little sobbing noise and followed even faster. Charlie swallowed his mouthful and looked confused.

“It’s a bit salty, but it’s alright,” he muttered.

Eggsy burst out laughing, and Ryan and Jamal had to catch him before he fell over.

**Author's Note:**

> I WARNED YOU
> 
>  
> 
> ps: please tell me how much you hated it in the comments thank <3


End file.
